I am addicted to my phone. There, I said it. I got it off of my chest. Except where most addictions are probably greeted with shocked gasps and copious support networks, my revelation of a phone addiction probably wouldn't cause a bat of an eye. Because we've all got to the point where we're so addicted to the technology in our pockets that it just feels like an extension of our bodies now. Walking down a train platform and not meeting a single eye because every other commuter has their heads down, glued to their screens. Grandparents trying to locate their reading glasses so they can check the magnified words on their iPhone. Toddlers begging for more iPad time before bed. Technology addiction is kind of just... where we are as a species right now.

I've never been one to tell myself that I need a social media detox. I really do admire people who are capable of doing that, but for me I've just never seen the point. Maybe that's a sign that my addiction really has gone too far. I've often been a victim to the anxiety and stress which comes from not being able to check your phone for a few hours. Feeling like you may be missing out on something which is playing out on the huge expanse of the internet.

In 2017, sites like Twitter make the world feel like its moving at 1000 miles per hour and we all need to be glued to our screens so that we don't miss out on the next big thing. Suddenly, what a stranger in America is doing right. this. second. feels more important than what's happening in the world around us if we were just to look up for a minute.

We're all addicted to fast news. We're obsessed with finding out information as quickly as possible and then watching as the updates roll in at 140 characters a second. The internet and access to technology really have done wonders for our society. They've made the world a smaller place because we have the means now to contact anyone, no matter where they are and what they're doing, within a matter of seconds. Distance doesn't exist anymore because my phone has made it so.

But sometimes, I can see through the cracks and I realise how deep rooted my obsession with my phone really is. It's making plans and planning outfits based on how impressive they'll look on Instagram. It's arriving at those plans and being more interested in getting a good photo than in seeing the place with your own eyes. It's watching peoples Instagram stories and being envious of their day instead of putting down the phone and allowing yourself to enjoy your own day. Social media and my phone breed competition. They make me want to document instead of live.

What I find most interesting about my phone obsession is that with it, I'm a completely different person to the one I am without it. When my phone is in my hand I'm a photographer, a 140 character composer, a wannabe influencer and someone with access to a wealth of distractions and conversations. Without it, I'm just one in a sea of so many other people going about their daily life with nothing seemingly special about them at all. Maybe that's why our phones make us feel so good. Because they allow us to be the centre of everything. All notifications are from people who want to talk to you. All social feeds have been tailored to you. On the internet, we're all big fish, but when you look up, you're just a small dot again.

I'm addicted to my phone. I'm addicted to the internet. I'm addicted to the people and voices and news that my phone allows me to access. I love the way that my phone allows me to find my tribe. To see that there are other people like me out there who, although miles away, are still there, living. I love that my phone allows me to find creators and see other women out there doing amazing things. I love that my phone gives me inspiration and shows me how good the world can be. Sure, there's a lot of sadness and catastrophe harbouring in my phone too, but there are also a hell of a lot of people trying to fight that sadness.

It's important to look up as much as you can, but it's also okay to keep the internet in your pocket as a little second home. It's finding that balance that I need to master.

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