ON WRITING WHEN YOUR HEART'S NOT IN IT

“Why does one begin to write? Because she feels misunderstood, I guess. Because it never comes out clearly enough when she tries to speak. Because she wants to rephrase the world, to take it in and give it back again differently, so that everything is used and nothing is lost. Because it’s something to do to pass the time until she is old enough to experience the things she writes about.” – Nicole Krauss


At the end of 2016, I told myself that I wanted things to be different. 2016 was a long year which slogged and where one month rolled into the next slowly and indifferently, without much differentiation between the two. It was a year which dragged, punctuated by sad news and a lack of direction. 2016 was not a year of getting shit done. And so in December, I told myself 2017 would be different.

I love having an organised pile of things I need to get done. I've always been a To Do list kinda girl, so I figured this would be something I'd provide myself with for each month of 2017, in an attempt to get some goals ticked off this year. Some of these goals are small and will take just a day, whilst some are big and will probably require more than just one month to get done. They're things like starting up new projects, visiting new places, improving my self care routine and finally getting myself back to the hairdressers after 3 years of refusing to get a haircut.

One of the goals which I've set out for myself for the entirety of 2017 has been to write at least one blog post every single week of the year. Thinking about it, that really doesn't seem that difficult. Writing a blog post takes me about half an hour to get the words down, plus an extra few hours for photographs if it's a travel or fashion post. So it's not the time which would stop me from reaching this goal.

 Usually blog post ideas just come to me and I sit down and write them and get them published straight away. There's not much pre-planning, it's an off-the-top-of-my-head sort of thing. But this week, nothing has come to me. I've got a dozen post titles all waiting to be explored, but I just can't find the inspiration to sit down and talk about a single one of them. So here I am, a mere 4 weeks into my biggest goal for the year and I'm suddenly realising that it's not going to be as easy as I thought it would be. I guess I'm trying to say: it's okay not to write when you can't find the inspiration.

I've always been the person to tell myself: write every single day of your life. Even if it's no good, just write. It'll be worth it. You'll learn from it. You'll get better because of it. But maybe my logic there was a little faltered. I think, actually, it's important to take breaks. It's important to allow your brain to rest a little while and to wait for inspiration to hit. Because if you're writing every single day, you become tired of it. It turns into a routine and you're no longer on your toes. I like to think that I bring something a little different to my blog every time I post. But if I wrote every single day, would that still be the case? Just because you have a talent, doesn't mean you have to use it to exhaust yourself. There is no sin in giving yourself time to get back on track.

I guess the irony here is that in having these feelings, I'm not going to go without a post this week anyway. I'm still on track with my goal. Maybe the real message is that if you can't find something which you want to write about, keep searching until it comes to you. I've been driving myself crazy this week because I've been completely unable to get my mind to focus on anything for long enough for me to write about it. But eventually, I realised that the words were right in front of my eyes the whole time.

“Writing is the only thing that, when I do it, I don’t feel I should be doing something else.” – Gloria Steinem

2 comments :

  1. I couldn't agree more! And 10 brownie points for turning an uninspired week into a really inspiring blog post : )

    Gemma
    Faded Windmills

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  2. I've felt like this for a while, I had ideas for blogposts and I had a schedule planned but then I couldn't get the words out nor find any motivation to do so which resulted in me not uploading often. This was a very inspiring post and I realised that it's okay if I don't write anything for a while. To be honest, I'd prefer posting something I'm completely happy with than just writing something 'because I have to'. I don't know if any of that made sense, anyway, again, this was a very good post!
    Anna | dropsofanna.blogspot.com

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