It's that time of year where all of the "2016 round ups" start making their way onto our blogs, closely followed by the "2017 resolutions". Don't get me wrong, I bloody love those posts. I've got one lined up to be posted after this one, so be sure to come back for that. But while I was thinking of putting together my 2016 wrap up post, I couldn't help but think about the amount of emphasis we, and I personally, put on the whole "new year, new me" mentality. Because in reality, we as humans are the only species on this planet who rigidly govern ourselves by time. Sure, bears hibernate and and caterpillars know when to curl up in their cocoons, but time as a tool of change is a concept which we created. We use it as a cause for grief, celebration, acceptance, healing and blame. But why in the world are we so obsessed with it?

2016 has been a terrible year. I mean, that's an exaggerated point to make. It hasn't been a terrible year. It's been 365 sunrises and sunsets where millions upon millions of wonderful, beautiful, groundbreaking moments have been punctuated by a handful of heartbreaking events. It's been a year of births, marriages, scientific discoveries, animals coming out of extinction, friendships and adventure. However, it's also been a year where we have been reminded just how common and ruthless death is, just how unkind mob mentality can be and how far people will go to not give a woman power. 2016 has been eventful, but 2016 itself is not to blame.

I think my own obsession with time was born out of hope. If I had a penny for every time the words "maybe tomorrow will be kinder" have run through my head, I'd never have to work another day in my life. Because we all want to believe that on Sunday evening, we can wipe the slate clean and leave all of last weeks crap where it belongs. Behind us, shielded from us by the line break in our calendars. In my heart I know that a new year won't actually change anything. I'll still be the same me on January 1st as I was in the last few moments of December 31st. But what I can't stop is the way my heart palpitates in the countdown of those last few seconds. The way my palms sweat and my legs shake. Because what those last few seconds really represent are promise. The promise of a fresh start. A whole new year for making more memories, more achievements and meeting new people.

I can definitely be the first person to admit that I put too much emphasis on time. I like to have order in my life and time provides me with that. It tucks hours, days and years away neatly into boxes. It doesn't let events and memories slip into and infect one another. It adds structure to an otherwise brutal, confusing and unforgiving world. Because without time, what are we really doing here? I realise that's a huge question to ask. But if you stripped the seconds and minutes from days and the weeks and from years, our existence is really just one, long, unexplained cycle. And that's scary. That's terrifying. Time adds a little bit of meaning to this and that's something I can't let go of.

So yes, 2016 has been brutal. We've lost a huge number of stars who I'm convinced are now having a much better time up in the cosmos somewhere. We've given power to a handful of selfish maniacs who don't deserve it and we've let deserving winners fall to the wayside. 2016 has been a terrifying reminder that not everybody in this world is kind and forgiving. But it has also been a year of tiny moments of wonder, just as every year is. Maybe 2017 will be better, or maybe it'll be just as difficult to make it to the end of. But I will take some relief in the fact that we're opening a new box. We're closing the box on 2016 and pushing it to the back of the cupboard. Time is unforgiving and continuous, but it brings new hope.


  1. I absolutely love this. 100% agreed that time gives hope and meaning to life, even if it's just superficial. Here's to the new year. Happy 2017.

    Love, Eline | www.elinesreturnticket.blogspot.com

    1. Thank you for reading Eline! Hope your 2017 is a great one xx

  2. Beautifully written Lauren x

  3. You're such a good writer! So glad I found you on Bloglovin!