LIFE AS AN UNPRODUCTIVE WORKAHOLIC



Being a person who could professionally procrastinate is problematic enough on its own. If I have work to do, I will do everything humanly possible to avoid getting that work done. Usually, this starts with checking all of my social media once or twice, planning my outfit for the next day, painting my nails or watching YouTube videos. Once I’ve exhausted all that, I’ll get onto more experimental forms of procrastination, like cleaning. Usually my house is tidiest when a deadline is looming, because seemingly I would much rather be stood mindlessly washing a heap of dishes than getting work done.

Eventually though, after an extended period of unproductive procrastination, I do manage to force myself to focus for long enough to actually put a decent piece of work together. I work well under pressure, and so I guess being a person who doesn’t utilise their time in the best way possible isn’t such a bad thing (it definitely is, and I’m definitely just saying that to make myself feel better about my poor life choices). I could live with being an unproductive person, if I didn’t also have the mind-set of a workaholic. If you’re lucky enough not to have adopted this weird mix of personality traits, I envy you, I really do. Because, although I am one of those people who likes to procrastinate in every way possible, I am also one of those people who cannot fully focus on anything enjoyable if I have work looming. Cue lots of confusion and much self-loathing.

If I have work to do in the morning, I’ll wake up and tell myself “I’ll just watch an hour of TV before I start”. That whole hour will be spent feeling bad that I’m not utilising my time better, but then deciding at the end of the hour that I’ll take another couple of hours of TV watching anyway. My mind likes to be busy at all times, but the rest of me won’t let it. I actually really enjoy doing things like writing articles and blog posts once I get into them, it’s just the forcing myself to stop procrastinating and actually sitting myself down to write which is a daily struggle. I can hear the little voice in my head saying “let’s make a start on that project that you’ve got a really great idea for now, yeah?” but there’s a slightly more dominant voice which is like “nah”.

Although I can joke about it, sometimes this mind-set can make things get pretty difficult. It’s not even an incapability of doing the work itself which is getting in the way, because the ideas are all there. It’s more just an inability to focus for long enough to actually produce something you’re proud of. Work becomes so much harder, because it takes half a day to do something which really only should have taken half an hour. Plus, you end up going to bed feeling like you wasted a whole day doing nothing, and thinking about all the work you wanted to get done, and probably could have if you hadn’t insisted on watching six hours of Friends reruns that you already know word for word (thank you for ruining my life Comedy Central).

One thing that I’m trying to do lately is not expect so much from myself. Yes, I procrastinate sometimes, and I have days which are completely unproductive. I also have days where I wake up and get so much done, that I’m sure some sort of miracle must have happened overnight. My brain likes to tell me that I should be working on projects constantly. Although I could probably do with cutting out some of the procrastinating from my life, I need to remember that the odd day of Netflix binging isn’t going to kill me.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post, a lot of procrastination went into it.

1 comment :

  1. Flatlay game strong Lauren. I'm sure a lot of procrastination went into the position of everything. J

    www.jordanbunker.uk

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